


Reginald Hargreeves' Actually Okay Parenting

by EmthelRackem



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alive Reginald Hargreeves, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Multi, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Team Bonding, Team as Family, actually more of a C but he tries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:40:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmthelRackem/pseuds/EmthelRackem
Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 (although minimal)Reginald Hargreaves adopts seven children. At first, he drafts a strict training regime, with allotted times for every activity to ensure loyalty and unity in the team he is creating.Then he remembers the group of six who turned up at the Tiki bar all those years ago, the ones who resented him with every bone in their body, and he takes a second to reconsider.Or; Reginald tries a second time, and everything goes a lot better.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Eudora Patch, Raymond Chestnut/Allison Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves & The Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves/Sissy
Comments: 153
Kudos: 891
Collections: The umbrella academy





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is an AU of season 2 (literally just that last scene) but that does mean there are spoilers!! Please read with caution. I am also not at all condoning canon Reginald's parenting choices, or overall being, but am just presenting a better version of him because these kids deserve it.
> 
> These will be a bunch of interconnected drabbles, not likely in chronological order. Most of these will be set in the 4-18 year old range, but I'm always open to any suggestions people have. (I'm going to run out of ideas eventually). There's no guarantee I'll get around to them, but I'll try and I might take elements and mash them together. I hope you enjoy!

Reginald Hargreaves adopts seven children. At first, he drafts a strict training regime, with allotted times for every activity to ensure loyalty and unity in the team he is creating. 

Then he remembers the group of six who turned up at the Tiki bar all those years ago, the ones who resented him with every bone in their body, and he takes a second to reconsider.

He’s not going to be nice. He’s not going to be particularly caring, but he can be considerate. He can be more flexible in his designs, perhaps use empathy and compassion to create the bonds needed between his team. Yes, he can see it now, his Umbrella Academy protecting each other out of familial obligation instead of blind loyalty. It will certainly be stronger, allow for a more adept team.

Sure, there will be weaknesses, but it is much better if those weaknesses can be regulated within the family rather than in the individual students themselves. Managing emotions and powers will be difficult, but doable and the payoff may be worth more. For this, he’ll need a completely loyal nanny, may have to create one himself. (Grace, oh, he can create her somehow! He must get on that as soon as possible.)

So, he does. While he plans away at greater things (for the time being), he allows Pogo to interact with the children. They don’t interact back, mostly gurgling and rolling around, but they interact enough for important social bonds to form and develop. He does think briefly that separation would ensure bonds only with the authority figures, but then the team won’t work together. 

One day, just after the children’s seventh birthday (he had given them cake as a treat, they had seemed delighted), Pogo interrupts his reading.

“Sir Hargreaves,” he calls lightly, “The children would like to see you.”

“I’m busy,” Reginald snaps, “I will see them at dinner.”

“They have requested to play with you,” Pogo says, “I believe it would be beneficial for them to connect with you outside of mealtimes.”

“Outside of mealtimes?” Reginald asks, “they are not old enough to train, there is no need for them to see me.”

“They will be more loyal if they are familiar with you, especially if you appear to be helping them,” Pogo urges. It’s funny, that his creation is so much more emotional and human than Reginald himself (though Reginald is not exactly human, so it is acceptable), and therefore Reginald has to take into consideration his suggestions unless he wants to jeopardise the mission he’s put into progress. 

He sighs and stands, “alert the children I will be down in five minutes,” he says, closing his journal. Pogo smiles, already waddling off to do just that. (He needs a cane, make a note of that.) There’s soft squealing from downstairs, a pattering of socked feet, and then excited chattering as the children prepare. 

When Reginald comes downstairs, the children all stare at him. One is hopping from foot to foot, anxious about leading them even at a young age. Two and Three are pretending to be casual but are still too stiff. Four and Six are right next to each other, shunting Five out of the number order. (This is acceptable, Four is weak but valuable in the team structure, Six is able to protect him in battle, as his power enjoys Four’s presence. Fostering a relationship between them will help them balance out each other and tame their powers.) Seven looks nervous, even though her power has manifested she still is uneasy with it, cautious about being the most powerful in the house.

They stand in a semicircle, watching him as he comes to a stop in front of them.

“Well,” Reginald begins, “what did you need from me?”

There’s a second of silence before One speaks up, “can you play with us?”

“Saturdays are for playing,” Reginald reminds him, (it’s important to set a schedule at the earliest opportunity), “however if everyone has finished their work we can have quiet playtime.”

The children rush to assure him that they have finished their math for the day, as well as their reading. Two still stutters, but Reginald overlooks that as his maths work is the best in the class. Reginald grabs scrabble from the top shelf, setting it down on the games table (not the dining table), and taking off the lid. The children all grab the tiles in an orderly fashion, and Reginald grabs his own. 

They play as normal, the kids misspelling words and Pogo gently teaching them to correct way. Reginald uses the biggest words he knows (to inspire, but also to give them more room to create new words). Everything is going splendidly until Four uses the ‘u’ in Reginald’s ‘ambiguous’ to carefully spell out ‘fuck’.

“Number Four,” Pogo gasps, scandalised, “where did you hear that?”

“What?” Four asks, shrinking back into Six’s side, “did I spell it wrong?”

“That type of language is not acceptable, Number Four,” Reginald scolds, taking his tiles off the board, “where did you learn it?”

“The man, in the suit,” Four explains, “he says it sometimes.”

Ah, the ghosts. They have, admittedly, shoved a bit of a wedge in his plan, however, they can be managed. Four seems okay with them, confused at times and scared of the more gruesome ones, but with a few explanations and well placed physical contact, he can be reassured. They are certainly more manageable than some of the others’ powers.

“Where do you see this man?” Reginald asks, “in the manor?”

“He follows you, sometimes. Sometimes he’s just walking around,” Four explains, “I didn’t know it was a bad word!”

Ah, the board men he had killed. That makes sense, however, it is worrying. “Does he say anything else to you, Number Four?”

“He’s just really angry at you,” Four says uneasily, “he says you killed him. He calls you a monster sometimes.”

“We shouldn’t listen to such horrible people,” Pogo says, gently running a hand over Four’s hair to settle him.

“I did kill him,” Reginald says, broadening the lecture to the entire academy, “however, I only did so for the good of society. As I expect you to protect each other on missions, I was protecting my vision, and hence I had to kill him.”

“Do we have to kill people one day?” Six asks.

“If they’re threatening us, we have to,” Five tells him, and Reginald remembers the child at the bar who had also been an adult. The duality of maturity and childishness stuck in one being.

“If they threaten the family,” One corrects, “or if they’re evil.”

“Very good,” Reginald praises, “Number Four, I can excuse your language as long as you do not do it again. If you are unsure about new words the ghosts tell you, go to Pogo at once. For the rest of you, well done on the game, you are certainly improving your writing and spelling. For now, I must be off.”

The smiles that had adorned the kids faces quickly fade as they tip the tiles back into the box and watch him put it away.

“It’s only been ten minutes,” Two stutters out, and Reginald pauses. He is busy, but ten minutes is not enough to form a proper parental bond with the children. He sighs under his breath and picks up the Monopoly. They will eventually need to manage money after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Names, and some semi-healthy childhood behaviours.

Grace, the robot version, has decided to name the children. He knows this is coming, but it still makes him want to protest. The numbers help keep a hierarchy, establish clear rules between them, but then he remembers the plan, and he reevaluates. Names bring humanity, humanity brings relationships. He assumes.

Five refuses a name, instead keeping his number. The rest happily accept what Grace gives them, from names she heavily researched from their home country to the names she had picked to mean something. That night as he leaves his office to tell them goodnight, they all rush to tell them their names.

“I see your names are giving you much excitement,” Reginald tells them, keeping his hands tucked behind his back as Vanya, Luther and Klaus give him a quick hug around his legs. Allison joins in tonight, and even Diego seems to have warmed up to him.

“Why didn’t we have names before?” Five asks icily, something playing across his features.

“I was averse to naming you wrong,” Reginald explains calmly, letting Ben tug on his hands until they unwind and grab onto his own, “I was worried that you would be swayed by the meanings in your names during your development.”

“Like numbers?” Five questions again.

“Numbers were the only alternative, and I trusted you to recognise the implied meanings behind them and discard it, rather than be pushed into boxes by them.” Now Klaus has grabbed onto his hand, swinging it idly as he listens to something they can’t hear. He allows it, Klaus will move on quickly.

Five nods slowly, absorbing the information and thinking it over. Coming to a conclusion about who to trust, who to protect, who to work with. It seems Reginald’s training has worked, as Five accepts his reasoning and moves on. Five is not overly affectionate with any of them, instead using aggression over others' actions as a way to express feelings. It is fine for now, he still works affectively in the team, however, it may need to be addressed for some of the more sensitive members.

Pogo watches, smiling as Reginald calmly lets Vanya hold onto his coat. Years this ago this would have been impossible, now it is a common occurrence, if only because Reginald has found it easiest to go along with the children’s physical needs.

“Time for bed now,” Grace calls, “does anyone want a story?”

“Can we read about Mulan?” Klaus asks, having clocked back into the conversation. Reginald has allowed them most conventional stories in storybook form, although he personally checks every piece of media they have. Some have messages he doesn’t want to spread to his children, and so, he does not allow them to see it. As a reward for missions well done, or school work sufficiently completed, he will allow them to watch a movie. Mostly, these are action-packed and meant to glorify heroes, however, there are a few calmer ones that the children had picked out themselves. This means most Saturday evenings they sit together to watch something, Reginald and Grace sitting in armchairs, while Pogo and the children take up most of the largest couch Reginald had been able to buy.

“We read Mulan last night,” Allison protests, “can we read something else?”

“Perhaps,” Grace soothes, “we shall read Superman tonight, and we can read Mulan next week. Now, off to bed while I set everything up.”

The children dash off, Ben grabbing Klaus and practically dragging him out of the room while Five simply pops away. Grace grabs a copy of Superman off the shelf, with lines crossed out and added in, and settles down in her charging station. A little microphone pops out of her head, and she opens the pages. 

“Is everyone ready?” She asks after exactly two and a half minutes. There are a few yells in agreement from upstairs, where everyone has settled into bed. Grace smiles and begins to read, her voice being projected throughout the rooms. Reginald leaves, making way back to his office, and taking a second to look in everyone’s room. They have been allowed to decorate them, to a certain extent, however, each one has a little picture of the academy from their first photoshoot. Reginald hadn’t even had to tell them to take a copy, but they each had. 

Most are lying down with their eyes closed, Klaus and Diego have a copy of the script Grace is reading, one to reassure that he is not hearing a ghost and the other to help with his stutter. Luther obediently lays down almost immediately, while Allison will still be fluffing around when the first page is finished. Vanya and Ben will lay down but only truly relax a few pages, with Ben sometimes jolting back into consciousness by the Horror in his stomach. Five takes the longest, and Reginald feels he knows his future and is preparing for it before he should. 

He knows, by the time Grace finishes the last page and hums a simple two-note melody to signify it's completion that the children are asleep or well on their way. He looks over his research for the day, noting the positive experiences of the children and possible training routines. Grace brings him some late night tea, and a few hours later he retires to bed, content in the knowledge that the academy is growing stronger every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you so much for all the positive response to this story, you are all amazing! Also, thank you for reading, and have a great day!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luther in unsure about his capabilities. Reginald helps...sort of.

Luther stands awkwardly in the doorway of Reginald’s office, shifting from foot to foot. He’s grown well, height and strength both. Reginald is concerned that he is not large enough (the man from years ago easily towered of everyone), but that was an adult, and Luther is still a child. 

“Yes,” Reginald calls, still scribbling away at the last few notes on the training. 

“I’m not fit to be Number One,” Luther blurts, wringing his hands.

“Whatever do you mean?” Reginald asks, looking up from his notes.

“I can’t control the team anymore, I can’t lead them.” Luther looks confident as he says this.

“Why do you say that?” Reginald asks as he closes his notebook and gives Luther his full attention.

“I can lead the team in missions, but not at home. They don’t come to me with problems, and they listen to Diego more than me,” Luther tells him like he doesn’t already know. 

Reginald nods, considering, then says, “Your siblings look to you in missions because they trust you to lead them, the only reason they do not come to you outside of missions is that they have problems others can solve.”

“I should be able to solve their problems, as a leader.”

“Going to the others promotes unity,” Reginald reminds him, “so that you work better together.”

“They don’t listen to me though,” Luther argues desperately. He’s not fishing for compliments, instead, he is genuinely distressed that he cannot be what he is meant to be.

“You do not notice it when they listen to you at home,” Reginald says, “you notice when they go to someone else. As part of your training this week, notice when your siblings listen to you, and what makes them go to others. If this does not change your mind, we can revisit this conversation next week.”

Luther nods, thinking it over. “But,” he says softly, “what if they decide to stop listening to me during a mission, and someone gets hurt?”

“They won’t,” Reginald dismisses, “and if they do, it will be the fault of them and whomever they have decided to follow.”

With that, Luther is dismissed. Reginald keeps an eye on the interactions for the next week and is pleased to see that Luther is indeed wrong about his assumptions. While the children do go to each other with minor problems or gossip, they cycle around to Luther if they have any true concerns. In an instance where Luther is unavailable, they’ll go to Diego, and that makes Luther upset because he only sees the aftermath of the conversation between them. He believes they do it more frequently and he’s never found out.

The children are, of course, forming relationships with each other outside of his control. While they still look up to Luther, they have gotten closer to other siblings, and hence will go to them naturally when needed. He sees Allison come to Luther when she’s upset, but gravitate towards Vanya and Klaus when she wants to have fun. He sees Ben ask Luther if he can join in training with him one day, but ultimately stay silent on matters the other children find the easiest to argue about.

Luther doesn’t quite pick up on the subtle way Klaus and Vanya defer to him in everyday conversation, the way Five will accept his ideas as a leader instead of dismissing them outright, the way Diego acknowledges Luther’s leadership in the same breath that he challenges it. It’s incredibly well built into their ordinary interactions, which is probably why Luther does not believe it exists. 

It does though, and so Reginald leaves Luther to discover it himself. 

It isn’t until the next mission when the message seems to fully enter his head. They go out as a unit, Luther leading the charge against enemies of the USA. It should be simple, apprehend the men with guns, release the scientists, and get out without destroying vital research. They’ve done very similar ones, although each mission is unique.

The only problem truly comes when they encounter their first injury. Vanya and Ben are holding back so that research remains safe, but they are taking people down as they can. Diego, Luther, Five and Allison are, as a result, putting in more effort than usual. Klaus is slipping through them, untying hostages or taking scientific discoveries away from the fight. This strategy works well until one of the gunmen freaks out and shoots blindly. He misses the team wildly, but a stray bullet manages to knock into the back of Klaus’ head as he ducks.

Blood blossoms under his hands, but no one notices until the last enemy is down. Five jumps through the crowded lab, tying up hands as he goes, and comes across the last few scientists still tied up.

“Klaus not get to you?” He asks rhetorically as he shreds the zip-ties with a knife, “typical.”

“You finished?” Luther calls out, casting an eye over the place, “we’ll drop these guys off and head home.”

“Movie night!” Vanya cheers. She takes a few steps towards the group and then stops, spotting a ducked figure behind a table. She makes her way forward cautiously, gaining the attention of the team on the way with a few sharp hand movements. They all drop into an offensive stance, until Vanya ducks down and realises that this is Klaus.

“Hey,” Klaus drawls, still holding onto the back of his head, “do you think I could convince Mum to not cut my hair?”

“Luther!” Vanya calls, “Klaus is hit!” They run over, crouching around him as Diego tugs anxiously on Klaus’ hands to assess the damage.

“Head wounds bleed a lot,” Five recites nervously, “he’s fine.”

“What happened?” Luther asks, ducking down to get a look at Klaus’ eyes.

“Got grazed by a bullet,” Klaus murmurs, “I’m in so much trouble.”

“Only if you fall unconscious,” Diego says gruffly, pushing harder on the back of Klaus's head to stop the bleeding. They all look to Luther, not quite sure what to do. He takes a breath, running through options in his head and pushing aside the guilt. They all look expectant, but they trust him to have an answer.

“Okay,” Luther says, just to fill the silence, “Vanya, Diego, you guys get Klaus out. The rest need to stay until the enemies are properly handled, just in case.”

Diego scoops Klaus up, staggering a little under the unexpected weight. Vanya, with a sharp burst of energy, clears a path to the door, and the three leave quickly. About a block away is Reginald and Grace, sitting in the car and waiting for the team. Grace goes out to meet them, gasping and hurrying quicker when she sees the blood.

“Oh darling,” she coos, “bullet graze, breaking several layers of skin, no damage to the skull, possible concussion.” She hums, “I’m going to have to fix this honey.”

“Please don’t touch my hair,” Klaus asks.

Later in the evening, once everyone has returned to the manor, and Klaus is sufficiently treated, they settle in to watch a movie. The kids all huddle together, even more than previous nights, and Reginald watches as Luther gently brings his arms around the group. 

The next week, Luther does not return to the conversation. Instead, he’s managing a fight that’s broken out between Diego and Allison like a leader would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are all awesome! So many comments, and kudos, and even hits! Thank you all so much! I just have a quick question for you all, how would you feel about me introducing all the love interests in? Since this AU is very quickly becoming very different from canon, I was thinking about writing a 'meet the parents' type of thing with all the canon relationships (regardless of time period). Follow up question, should Allison be with Patrick or Raymond? Tell me in the comments if you want, I've got my own thoughts and feelings but I want to know what you guys like.
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading, and have a great day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reginald manages problems a little better the second time around, and miraculously everyone survives.

Vanya is stressed out, she’s upset with her powers, she’s just finished fighting with Allison, and she wants to finish training. Nevertheless Reginald soldiers onward, the battlefield will not stop for her, if she wants to end it, she must end it.

It really should be no surprise then, when Vanya does decide to end it. With a frustration fuelled surge she shatters every glass on the table, and then Reginald’s monocle. He gently takes it off and feels the blood flowing down his face.

“I’m sorry!” Vanya gasps, hands coming up to cover her mouth. In another time she wouldn’t have cared enough about Reginald to apologise or be allowed to show this kind of weakness in the first place, but now she feels remorse. Reginald very briefly lets fear and rage consume him, before forcibly relaxing and calming his thoughts. He could make her weaker, but that would affect the family dynamic. (Unity, he reminds himself, unity through familial relationships.)

“We must work on control,” Reginald tells her, “controlling the range and breadth of your powers. You don’t want one of your siblings getting in the way.”

“Of course not,” Vanya says, almost trembling, “I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

“We shall pick up training tomorrow,” Reginald dismisses, gently rubbing away blood with a handkerchief, “I will see you at dinner.”

He goes to Grace, while Vanya goes back to her siblings. She doesn’t get locked in a room, she doesn’t get rumoured, and she doesn’t get marginalised. Reginald isn’t aware of the consequences, but he’s avoided a lot of heartache for the family.

—

Five slams his hands on the table in the middle of breakfast, shocking his siblings and making Reginald pause mid-bite.

“I want to time travel,” he demands.

“You are not ready,” Reginald tells him, continuing on with his meal.

“I’m ready,” Five insists, “I’ve been practising my spatial jumps, I’ve done all my training and I’ve worked through the calculations.”

“Time travel is difficult, it is completely different from spatial jumps,” Reginald reminds him.

“But I’m ready to try,” Five argues, “I’ve been ready for ages.”

Reginald thinks for a second, ponders, and then allows it. “During our training sessions, we can start. But in seconds, not decades.”

“Fine,” Five says, sitting back down. Vanya reaches over to pat Five on the shoulder. He doesn’t flinch away, but he glowers at his plate. Later in the day, Reginald takes Five to the roof.

“If you travel too far, go to the dining table and call out. Wait there,” Reginald instructs. It would not do well to lose a member at such a young age. The family dynamic would fall apart and the children would be more likely to desert or make foolish decisions.

“Yeah, yeah,” Five dismisses, shaking himself out and poofing out of view. Exactly three minutes later, he comes back into focus. He looks over at the clock sitting on the ground and grins. He’s still here, his curiosity sated by being able to stretch his abilities in a safe environment.

At dinner, he’s calmer, ready for tomorrow’s session. The children eagerly ask about his powers, unaware how close they had been to the beginning of the end.

—

Reginald gently pushes the plastic ziplock bag across the desk so Klaus can see what’s inside it. Klaus knows what’s inside it, considering it was found in his room, however, he wants to make sure Klaus knows he’s been found out. Reginald thinks he does, considering Klaus has hunched in on himself, propping a foot on his chair in fake nonchalance. 

“Is this interrogation training?” Klaus asks innocently, trying to play off what they both know is a serious situation.

“Grace found these in your room,” Reginald indicates towards the bag, “I will not condone this sort of behaviour in the Academy.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Klaus mutters, pushing the bag away, “it’s just weed.”

“This,” Reginald indicates again, tapping harshly, “is a mind-altering substance, I will not allow you under any influence during training or missions.”

“It’s just to help me sleep,” Klaus insists, “it just helps numb everything.”

“That is the purpose of such a mind-altering substance,” Reginald explains, “and I will not allow it.”

“It makes the ghosts go away!” Klaus blurts out, “they’re so loud, and I just tried it and it helped. I promise I’m only using it at night.”

Substance abuse halts Klaus’ powers, interesting. Still, unacceptable. He will not let his Academy be overrun by drug-abusing students. Nevertheless, there is a problem. If Klaus is too tired to participate normally he will become a liability and missions might have disastrous results. Then again, any illicit substance will be addictive, not to mention, illegal (he’s not really worried about the legality of it though, he has enough allies to get through any legal debacle).

“Grace will supply you with Melatonin pills,” Reginald allows, “as a short term solution, and only if you turn over any drugs you may have on the premises.”

Klaus looks at him, considering the offer, “what if the ghosts are still too loud?” 

“We will work on banishing them, and I will concoct a long term solution in the meantime.” Reginald says, “now go and clear out your room.”

“Yessir!” Klaus salutes, getting up and almost sauntering out. Reginald finds the best long term solution is a mix of sleeping pills and medical marijuana in a single easy to swallow dose, enough to quiet everything but leave no lasting effects. Klaus is on a strict pill regime, and he’s not allowed more than one a night. They work on banishing the ghosts, but with each mission more pile up and it seems a futile effort until Klaus gets better at managing his other powers.

Nevertheless, this prevents any further drug habits and keeps him inside the Academy walls for a few more years. 

—

Reginald watches the security footage. He’s watched it twice, but now he needs to take further notes, detailing the situation in which everything could have gone terribly wrong. They go through the building, they take down the enemies, and then Ben goes in to remove the threat of the bomb. The Horror is the only thing that can survive the radiation it’s emitting without extreme collateral damage, but it’s still getting injured.

Ben visibly looks stressed as the Horror reaches for the bomb. It quivers, before reaching back inward. Before the Horror can actually rip apart it’s host, Five appears and disappears with him in the blink of an eye. Vanya takes over diffusing the bomb, and Ben lays on the floor just outside. He’s bleeding, but he’s okay. 

Reginald replays it again, freezing on the frames when Five appears and disappears. Ben is literally seconds from being destroyed by the Horror, his Academy just moments away from being ripped apart both literally and figuratively. 

A few doors away Ben is lying on the hospital bed. Grace is fluffing around, putting bandages on and moving around the medical equipment. She had to kick Klaus and Vanya out, both of them refusing to leave his side for even a few moments, but that is not helpful for good healing and eventually, they managed to leave. 

His chest will scar. There’s almost no way around it. But he’ll be alive, and he’ll recover within the month. It’s the best outcome he can hope for considering the circumstances that came about. If Five wasn’t there, or if Vanya couldn’t control the bomb, there would be many more children in the infirmary and a much more impacted team. 

But they’re okay, they’re together. Reginald’s vision goes on to live another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again (and I'm going to start sounding like a broken record), you guys are absolutely amazing. I cannot believe the positive feedback this has gotten so a massive thank you to all of you. I'll try to get around to everyone's comment, but you guys have flooded me with support so it might take a second. Also, thank you for your responses to my question! I know this isn't the relationship one but it's coming! It's close! (Also I know this is probably not how Ben died, I only watched the show.)
> 
> Most of these will be set in the 4-18 year old range, but I'm always open to any suggestions people have. (I'm going to run out of ideas eventually). There's no guarantee I'll get around to them, but I'll try and I might take elements and mash them together like this one. (I'll probably put this reminder in the beginning notes so people can see it after I've added more, sorry about the repetition,)
> 
> Once again, thank you all so much, you're all awesome, and have a great day!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are intruders in the manor, or are there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note, there is reference to underage ~fun times~ (very mild), and Reginald does see someone naked but he's disgusted and does not look. If you feel uncomfortable with this though, that's absolutely fine! Do whatever makes you comfortable.

There are intruders in the manor. Reginald has been gone for two days, and someone has decided to invade his school. His instruments are picking up a total of eleven humans. Even if they were malfunctioning (which they wouldn’t be) and was sensing all humanoid-like objects in the house, there is still one unaccounted for.

Good then, that Reginald was able to finish his tasks a day early, and hence is able to remove the infiltrators. If they were skilled enough to get around both the Umbrella Academy team and Pogo and Grace, surprise would have to be of the essence. 

Carefully, he creeps up the stairs, unsheathing his cane-sword as he goes. He slinks through the corridor and notices Klaus’ door open just slightly. Carefully, so as not to expose himself, he peaks through the door. Klaus is laying on the bed, covers bunched up around his shoulders. He doesn’t look outwardly harmed, a few bruises against his shoulders but otherwise fine. He must be drugged into submission then, held under against his will.

Then, shockingly, he sees the culprit. Another man is lying on the bed with him, an attacker who decided to what, gloat? Maybe it’s to ensure Klaus stays immobile, however, surely that would be easier done in a separate facility. He prepares himself to leap forward when suddenly Klaus rolls over, now facing his attacker. The blanket falls off his shoulders and exposes his back and oh-

He is naked. Both of these boys are naked. He can see the marks better now, circular shaped and obviously some form of love bite. Klaus has decided to bring home a potential mate. How gross.

They are of mating age, 16 and a few months. Personally, Reginald abhors the practice, it’s too mushy for him, too soft. However, he acknowledges that children will need to explore their own needs and therefore will mate. He hopes that these are simply ’crushes’, as having actual mates within the Academy will not go well.

To ensure that these are in fact, mates, and not intruders, Reginald steps through the manor, pushing open each door as gently as he can. Five, Ben and Luther have elected out of the mating process, but Allison, Diego and Vanya have each brought home a potential partner. All of the rest are clothed, Allison and her partner are sleeping on different surfaces. Reginald does not look any closer, he doesn’t want to see.

He does, however, look over the security footage. The children do welcome the strangers into the house, some kissing and some simply hugging. They watch a movie together, and Reginald looks over at the homework books sitting neatly on his desk (at least they hadn’t abandoned the schedule completely). When the movie is finished they all retire to their rooms, and Reginald does not switch over cameras to see them. He re-sheathes his sword and is tempted to sigh. He doesn’t, instead, he retires to bed. 

In the morning, he relishes in the shocked looks the children (and Pogo) give him when he comes down the stairs for breakfast.

“Would you introduce me to your companions, children?” He requests. The companions in question blush and look away, especially the man he saw with Klaus last night.

“Dad!” Klaus exclaims, surprise lacing his tone, “um, this is my boyfriend, Dave.”

“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” Dave says, nodding politely.

“This is Sissy,” Vanya mumbles, motioning at the blond next to her, “Sissy, this is my Dad.”

Allison introduces a man named Raymond, and Diego nervously motions to his friend Patch. Of course, Reginald knows who they are, his machines had run a background check on them while he was sleeping. 

Dave was looking at a career in the military, mostly as an escape from his parents. Raymond was one of the organisers for certain activism movements and was apparently mostly unaware of the Academy. Patch was looking to train as a young detective and was mostly okay with the Academy as long as they handed people into the police. Sissy was just out of an abusive relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and her family was still on the fence about her starting a new one. Each person was safe, in a broad sense, however it was still concerning that the children wanted to expand their relationship circles.

They eat breakfast in near silence, the guests refusing to meet Reginald’s eyes except for Patch, who meets him head-on whenever he looks over. It’s only once Grace has removed the dishes that Reginald decides to bring the topic about.

“Why have you decided to bring guests over?” Reginald asks.

“We thought you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow,” Diego volunteers.

“I told them it was a bad idea,” Luther huffs.

“Just because you can’t get a date,” Klaus throws out, “doesn’t mean you get to dictate when we get into relationships.”

“Big words,” Five praises sarcastically, picking at his fingernails.

“Oh, like you’re any better,” Klaus returns, “Mr my-girlfriend-is-a-mannequin.”

“I was very tired,” Five seethes.

“It’s okay if you don’t get a girlfriend,” Vanya says, trying to de-escalate the situation.

“That’s NOT-“

“She didn’t mean it like that!” Ben tries, cutting Five off.

“I’m pretty sure she did,” Klaus mutters, swinging his feet up onto Dave’s lap.

“Children,” Reginald barks, stopping the squabbling before it can break out into a fight. Everyone straightens up in their chair, years of instinct drilled into them. “Please alert your friend’s guardians that I am here now and so they must not be.”

These a few sighs but when they get up they go to the phones and tell the responsible parents that their child is coming home. Reginald watches as the intruders leave, either walking home or being picked up. He vaguely hears a few questions about Reginald’s parenting style but he doesn’t let them affect him.

“Your family is really weird,” Raymond tells Allison as he’s shepherded out the door.

“You can always come over to mine,” Sissy offers Vanya, casting a quick glance at the man behind them.

“Call me later,” Patch tells Diego, tapping his chest as threateningly as she can.

Dave doesn’t get a chance to say anything, Klaus kissing him fiercely and shooing him out in the time it takes for his brain to reboot.

Once everyone is gone, Reginald acknowledges what he has to do and gathers them all together.

“I think it’s time we have a talk,” he tells them, each freezing or shifting, preparing for whatever punishment Reginald gives. Reginald lets himself feel triumphant as he tells them; “Pogo will teach sexual education instead of usual classes this afternoon.” 

“What?” Allison squeaks.

“Can’t we just miss a meal or something?” Klaus begs.

“I am not a part of this,” Luther tries, shaking his head rapidly.

“You will all stay here while Pogo goes over any gaps in your knowledge,” Reginald commands, “and then if you ever feel the need to invite friends over, ensure you keep this talk in mind.”

Needless to say, Reginald does need to punish them anymore for the deception they tried against him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The relationships! They're here! Thanks to all who gave feedback and input, a few characters might appear in seperate one-shots, but then again I might forget some. I tried to equally spread out the interactions but it's kind of obvious who my favourites are. Once again, thank you all for reading, and I hope you have a great day!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more problems being dealt with in healthier ways.

Allison has started a fight. Again. Reginald has been carefully cultivating her powers, letting her know that she mustn’t be afraid of them, he has tolerated her use of them against her siblings, but know he must re-evaluate. This is the fourth time in the last 30 days in which she has decided it was appropriate to use her powers for personal gain at the expense of one of her siblings. 

Today it’s because Klaus had wanted to wear her nail polish and Allison had wanted to wear it first. She had rumoured him into complacency while she happily painted her nails. Vanya had tried to help, but Allison had just yelled at her too. 

This is stress on the family, a slow attack on the bonds being formed. It’s not long before they start breaking down completely and Reginald’s entire plan will be destroyed along with the family.

So during the next training session, Reginald puts more emphasis on her physicality.

“You may believe you can get everything in life easily, but you must work for it,” Reginald instructs as she does a series of kicks.

“But I can just get whatever I want,” Allison argues, “that’s my whole power.”

“But where is the joy? You cannot live a life if you do not take a look at yourself now and begin to work harder.”

Allison huffs, and her foot slips just slightly, “Using my power is still work,” she argues as she corrects her stance.

“Your training for this week to avoid using your rumour, aside from missions,” Reginald decides, “If you want something, work for it. Negotiate as your siblings do. You don’t want to fall behind because you are too reliant on your powers.”

Allison huffs, but she knows better than to disobey a direct training order. For the next week, she refrains from using her powers, any bratty argument turned around by Vanya or Ben into a more civilised discussion. She doesn’t get what she wants all the time, but what she does get successfully feels a million times better than if she had rumoured people. Reginald finds in the coming weeks that he doesn’t have to send Grace in to regulate fights as often, Allison priding herself on using her words without the power behind them. 

—

Diego is doing relatively okay, except he refuses to speak. His stutter, although the children don’t mention it, has been bringing him down. He’s still headstrong, still will fight during missions, but he won’t talk unless absolutely necessary. It’s upsetting the others, even if they don’t let it show, and it’s damaging the family dynamic. 

So, Reginald looks into solutions. At first, he updates Grace with new protocols, sending her in and hoping it solves the problem. She gives tips, and Diego tries, but it’s not quite enough. She’s good, but she’s not a professional, and it would take too much time to properly fill her out.

He moves onto outside sources, scanning through lists of highly-rated speech pathologists. He discards any males immediately, he will be the only patriarchal figure in the house of this won’t work. Besides, Diego finds it easier to be with Grace than Pogo.

He lets the machines run background checks, pulling up the most qualified. A few are discarded right away, too soft, too indulgent, have no experience in extreme cases, but then he finds one. Miss Almond is tight-lipped, and hidden in files no one would find is records of her with cases of high profile people. She’s professional, but also not likely to run as soon as she realises who she is working with. 

She is invited to the mansion and arrives with a purse, her hair is drawn up in a tight bun. Everything about her is a facade, but also intensely honest. She greets Reginald professionally, holding out a hand for a firm handshake that Reginald returns.

“Hello Diego,” she greets when she’s lead inside, picking him out of the crowd of kids easily.

“Diego,” Grace says, squatting down to Diego’s eye line, “Your father and I decided to see if you would like more help with your speech patterns.”

At first, Diego refuses, but then after some quiet reassurance from Grace, he gives in. Miss Almond takes over several of his personal training sessions, and Reginald sets them up in a spare room in the mansion. (Reginald is not letting his speech therapy take place outside, everything must remain in this controlled environment until he can set up permanent bonds.)

Over days Diego meets with Miss Almond, over weeks he gradually builds up his skill set. They work on visualising words for a time, Diego preferring the method over others. (Possibly because Grace taught it to him.) There were also several other new strategies, speaking slower, isolating problem words, so on and so forth until Diego was confident.

One day, after Miss Almond’s sixteenth session, Diego finally breaks his self-imposed silence.

“Pass that here,” He asks over dinner, motioning to Vanya’s half-eaten plate she had pushed away. Diego takes it gleefully, and the children watch him for a second. Vanya and Ben quickly envelop themselves in a conversation about books and music not wanting to make a big deal of it so publicly, while Klaus reaches over to ruffle Diego’s hair. 

Later that night, as Diego takes the reading script, Reginald comes over to his room.

“I am pleased to see development in your speech,” he praises, “your hard work and effort has resulted in notable improvement.”

“Thanks, D-dad,” Diego mumbles, hiding a grin in his lap. Reginald nods and moves on to his office, content in drawing up new training plans once Diego feels comfortable enough.

—

The hospital wing is in pandemonium. Luther is wheeled in on a stretcher, deep burns covering the front of his chest. They had thought the explosion would be normal, not fuelled by whatever chemical concoction was in it. Luther had taken the hit, too close to avoid it, but ready to protect his siblings. 

They had thought he would be fine.

He’s not. He’s dying. Grace is hooking him up to fluids, Pogo is holding his hand in support, but there’s nothing he can do. The children are outside, tears running down their faces and Reginald is watching his vision float away. He feels almost helpless, there is nothing he can do. He’s only been in this position once, with Pogo, and the only way he managed that was to use a serum.

Then, in a flash, he remembers. He had been waiting for Luther to hit his growth spurt, one that would see him towering over his siblings as he remembers, but he’s not. He had assumed his chest was adorned in battle scars but maybe, maybe it’s the serum at work.

He grabs a syringe and walks to Luther’s side. “I can heal you,” Reginald tells him, “but you will never be the same.”

Luther rolls his eyes to see him, feeling his body get weaker with every breath. “It’s okay,” he breathes, “do it.”

Reginald hesitates for only a second but plunges the syringe in nonetheless. The effects are instantaneous, his skin starts healing itself in seconds. But the new skin isn’t quite right, it’s reminiscent of an ape, not a man. 

Luther doesn’t wake until the next day, and Reginald hears him break his bedside table (either from confusion or shock). Grace goes in to mediate and comes out looking for cookies. She tells the children that Luther doesn’t want to be visited and that maybe tomorrow they can see him. They wait around anxiously but eventually leave to their rooms. Luther takes dinner and lunch in bed. 

After supper Reginald visits him, noting how the change has already increased his size. He stands there until Luther notices his presence. “I apologise for the side effects,” Reginald begins, hoping to ease Luther into further conversation.

“Side effects,” Luther mumbles, “you mean, the part where it made me into a monster?” He huffs, curling into himself as he sits on the bed, “I know I said yes, but I’m not me anymore.”

“Don’t be absurd,” Reginald dismisses, “you are still Number One. Just because you have grown does not mean you’re someone else.”

“I’m not Number One anymore,” Luther mutters, “I can’t go out like this.”

“You have simply bettered yourself. There is no gain without sacrifice,” Reginald tells him.

“This is not a gain!” Luther bellows, flinging a hand out and smashing the wall. “Ah, sorry,” Luther mumbles, removing his hand from the plaster.

“You are stronger, Number One,” Reginald says, nodding at the wall, “not just physically, but mentally. Whatever you think people will perceive of you, you are incorrect. Would you consider Pogo a monster?”

That stumps Luther, who looks down at his hands and uncurls them, “no.”

“You’re better equipped now, to save your siblings, and to lead them. Your appearance will not matter to them.”

“They won’t care?” Luther asks, “you promise, they won’t be scared of me?”

“They will notice, but they won’t be scared,” Reginald confirms. 

Luther takes a second, looks at the hole in the wall and then nods with conviction, “can you tell them they can come in?”

Reginald nods, going to do just that. The children swarm into the room when they’re allowed, each taking a second to take in Luther’s new look but discarding it and instead hugging him. The kids pile onto him, grabbing onto any available place they can to envelop him in a hug.

“There’s room for all of us,” Klaus cheers, tucking himself into the crook of Luther’s elbow. Allison reaches out to smack him on the head.

“We’re really happy you’re okay,” Vanya murmurs, sitting on the bed, hand patting his knee. 

“We missed you,” Ben offers, leaning against him.

A few hours later, Grace comes to inform Reginald that the children have all fallen asleep in Luther’s room. Reginald allows them to stay there for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back! The Diego and Allison bits were suggested to me and I realised that I had sort of neglected them before, so here they are (I hope I lived up to expectations). I've got one more mostly done, but otherwise it might take me longer to push these out, but I'll still be coming back to them! I hope you all enjoy, and have a great day.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to Griddy's, and what that means for everyone.

Reginald is watching the monitors. He’s put security cameras all the way through the alleyway and then linked into the city system to watch as the children make their way to Griddy’s. At first, he was hesitant about this behaviour but ultimately concluded that it was important for social bonds between the children. An act of rebelliousness that brought them together.

However, their stealth skills are disturbingly poor. The children clammer down the fire escape into the alley. Tonight, Klaus has managed to disturb a family of possums, Luther has told him off for being too noisy, and Diego had taken that as an opportunity to start an argument. If Reginald were truly asleep, the noise would have him up in seconds. Five seems the most sensible, pulling the brothers out of the near yelling match and forcibly shoving them out of the alleyway. 

As they enter onto the street, Reginald switches the cameras over, watching as the sisters talk to each other excitedly. Klaus plucks a hat off the ground, dusts it off and sets it delicately on Ben’s head.

“It hides your frown,” he teases, the microphones sewn carefully into their clothes picking up the words.

“Better get Five one too,” Diego snarks right back. Five whips his head around to glare at them, pointing his finger threateningly even as Vanya hides a giggle behind her hands. 

Some people look at them curiously, a group of children out in the dead of night, but no one approaches them.

When they get to Griddy’s, Luther pushes the door open, spilling into the little cafe. There are almost no patrons, which is typical for this time of night, and the waitress waves as they all gather at her bench.

“A dozen doughnuts,” Agnes guesses, used to the children by now, “three black coffees, one with a teaspoon of sugar, a mocha, two hot chocolates, and…” she waits, Klaus looking intently at the drinks menu on the board.

“The unicorn shake,” he requests, “but in a large glass please!”

“And can we please get an extra chocolate doughnut?” Luther asks.

“Certainly,” Agnes hums, jotting the rest of the order down, “you kids can stay here or pop off to your booth.”

Five does so literally as soon as Agnes has turned her back. The other kids move over, settling themselves in a booth really made for six. To combat this, Ben and Klaus squish together on one side with Vanya and Diego, while Allison, Five and Luther take the other side. 

“I can’t believe you ordered a large glass,” Five tells Klaus, “remember last time.”

“Last time was not this time,” Klaus deflects, “it was ages ago. I’ve matured.”

“You threw up,” Allison points out.

“And it was only last week,” Five adds, “you haven’t matured since last week. In fact, you haven’t matured since last year.”

“I’ve already hit peak maturity,” Klaus hums, “I am the most mature.” Everyone levels him with a flat look, which Klaus pretends to not see. Agnes saves them from further argument by bringing over her tray.

She carefully sets out the cups, a black coffee for Five and Diego, plus a sweeter one for Ben who uses it mostly to emphasise how tired he is. There are two hot chocolates for the girls, and Agnes always adds in extra marshmallows for them. Luther sits himself awkwardly in the middle with his mocha, too mature for hot chocolate but not quite ready for the bitterness of straight coffee, and Klaus happily accepts his overflowing sugar abomination and plucks the sour strap from the top of the glass to eat.

The doughnuts are similarly shared out, most having one or two, but Luther will steal any extras when the kids aren’t looking. Usually they only really need 12, Klaus splitting one with Ben and much preferring whatever shake he has ordered, while Vanya insists that only the one will fill her up, although when Ben refuses whatever Klaus has grabbed she’ll take the other half from him as well. Five will grab one if he wants, but only ever a strawberry, and if someone grabs it when he wants it they will leave bruised. 

Sometimes, if there is a leftover one, they’ll bring it back home for Grace. She doesn’t eat it, of course, instead taking it and giving it to Pogo. At first, she tried to hand it over to Reginald, but he refused and changed a few protocols. In an abstract way, he appreciates them, a physical representation of the children liking their guardians, but he won’t eat it. 

Tonight Luther eats the spares, tired from a mission they were on during the day. Reginald makes a note to revise meal plans, the children won’t work well if they are not fed properly, and watches as they settle in for a while. They chat idly about gossip they saw on TV as they walked through the streets or fashion they saw and wanted. Reginald makes note of this only for the reward system, noting any specific brand names or people they mention. 

The nights slowly creeps into early morning, and Vanya’s yawn is the signal the kids need to realise the tiredness they feel. Allison carefully collects the money from her siblings and pays for the meal, Agnes smiling at her as she hands over the slightly crumpled notes. Then they make their way back sluggishly, stumbling with sleepiness. Luther helps hoist the children back up to the fire escape, each splitting to their own rooms. As Luther climbs up he hooks the ladder back into its place and then slips back into his room. Well, he mostly stomps back into his room, but he's trying his best to remain quiet.

The children settle into their beds and begin to sleep, light snores and snuffles filling the academy as they should have hours ago. They will need a relative sleep in tomorrow morning, Reginald decides, to ensure proper alertness during training, but they will not be allowed to laze the day away.

Reginald flicks off his monitors, letting the computers run in the background for an extra second before he leaves the room and retires himself to bed. In the morning the children yawn throughout breakfast, but for now they are all safely tucked into bed, as they should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry this one took a little longer to get out, it is not the one I mentioned being half-done, that one still sits in my notes, mocking me. Thank you for ready, and I hope you all have a great day!


End file.
